A silly little blog for me to drop the excrement of my mind.
Published on October 10, 2005 By BlueDev In Home & Family
I called my mom a while back. I call her more often than that, but I called with a specific purpose. I had her get my dad on the other phone. I had something important to tell them.

"Mom, dad, I am so, so sorry."

They were confused. Being something of an adult now, living as far away from them as we do, I don't have too many chances to screw things up with them or offend in any way. So I could understand and appreciate their confusion. I decided I had better clarify.

"I am so sorry that I was a teenager."

They both chuckled. I think they knew exactly what I meant, as they probably had some moment in which they felt the same sort of regret for just the simple fact of being a teenager. I then expressed my sincere gratitude for all they did (and do) for me, for their love, for their support, and most of all for their (very strict) rules.

I am learning just what a thankless job it is parenting a teenager. Younger children are easy. The very small ones show their thanks with the giggles, grins and cuddles. Our 2 year old (almost 3!) shows her thanks with more hugs than I can count many nights when I get home. All unasked for, all given freely. The 6 year old expresses her thanks in more complex ways, yet still very innocent and sweet. Pictures for mom and dad, stories she has written, notes telling us she loves us. All are sincere demonstrations of appreciation, thanks and love.

But, as many of you know, you just don't get that with teenagers. And, of course, they are the ones that require the most work, the most sleepless nights, the most hair-pulling conversations, the most energy. And you know what? They act like they couldn't care less. I know, I am sure I did the same (though my parents tell me I was a very easy teenager to raise, I think they are just being kind). You wish they could realize that if you really didn't care you wouldn't put forth the effort. It would take a lot less energy to just take it easy, let them do what they want, and assume that they can take care of themselves. It really would. But because we care, because we love, we drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out how to best help.

And a thank you for all that effort? Forget about it.

Comments
on Oct 10, 2005
sweet dev and a tribute to you comming of age.
on Oct 10, 2005
Peter you're so right about this. Being mom of a teenager is taxing and sometimes thankless. All we can do is love them just the same.
on Oct 10, 2005
As I write this, I'm about 7 days away from being mother to a teenager.

However, just because she's not quite a teen in years, doesn't mean she's not a teen in attitude. She's a good kid, yes, and we do well together...but man, she can have an attitude some days. For example: one day last week she walked in the kitchen door when she came home from school, dumped her backpack on the table, glowered at me, swung her foot at the cat and growled 'get outta my way' and stomped back to her bedroom, slamming every door on her way. I followed to ask her what was wrong, and she wouldn't answer me, so I left her alone. Half an hour later she came out and acted like nothing had happened.

I've apologised to my mother many, many times for being a teenager. She's never accepted my apology, saying that karmic retribution is enough of an apology for her (apparently my daughter is just like me).
on Oct 10, 2005
I've apologised to my mother many, many times for being a teenager. She's never accepted my apology, saying that karmic retribution is enough of an apology for her (apparently my daughter is just like me).


ah yes a parents greatest and deadliest curse "may you have a child just like you" hahahahaha
on Oct 10, 2005
sweet dev and a tribute to you comming of age


That is kind of you MM. Thanks for the comment.

Being mom of a teenager is taxing and sometimes thankless. All we can do is love them just the same.


Ain't that the truth. I think what I am struggling with the most is knowing whether or not that love is accepted.

I've apologised to my mother many, many times for being a teenager. She's never accepted my apology, saying that karmic retribution is enough of an apology for her (apparently my daughter is just like me).


If it is all karma, boy, I gave my parents more of a headache than I ever knew! Thanks for stopping by.