A silly little blog for me to drop the excrement of my mind.
-or- like father, like son
Published on February 5, 2005 By BlueDev In Misc
Growing up my father had, what I thought, was a very odd habit. I never really understood it, and together with my mother, I would tease him ceaselessly about it. He always took the teasing well. It just never seemed to bother him that much.

And now, years later as I find myself adopting the same habit, I understand why.

You see, my father (and I) read in the bathroom.

As life has become more complicated, with children, school/work, my sweet wife, church responsibilities and friends all asking for some of my time I have suddenly found a haven. It is while I am on the can.

The door locks, talking to someone while using the bathroom can be a bit awkward so you tend not to do it, and there I can find just a bit of time alone. So I read. I have read entire books all in the bathroom. My father's triumph was reading the unabridged version of Les Miserables in the bathroom (over the course of years), and while I haven't come close to that, I have read some pretty dense material while on the john.

But that doesn't necessarily make the best bathroom reading. My current project (The Silmarillion) is going slowly, because it doesn't really fall into the realm of what I consider good bathroom reading.

The best bathroom reading is entertaining, well written, and accessible. I have Uncle John's Long Lost Bathroom Reader (a compilation of their bathroom readers #s 7,8 and 9). It is a brilliant book. Some entries are barely a page, a few random quotes from famous or not so famous people. Others are a couple of pages detailing the origins of some modern phrases.

There are other articles that would please even the most hard core conspiracy theorists. Ranging from one to a dozen pages, there is something to fit any, um, occasion. And many are sure to keep you grinning, while also enhancing your useless trivia database. I only lament I don't have more.

So the circle is now complete. What I once teased my father for has now become a staple of daily life for me. Shh, I'm trying to read.

Comments (Page 1)
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on Feb 05, 2005
Reading in the bathroom strikes me as odd. Partly because I tend not to be in there long enough to read much, but also because my hands tend to be busy with something else. Aiming, wiping, flushing, washing, etc... Too many things to do that a book would just get in the way for. But if it works for you, well enjoy your reading
on Feb 05, 2005
Well, never reading when aiming is necessary is rule #1. Otherwise, even if it is just a few seconds, the solitude is wonderful.
on Feb 05, 2005
As a joke, i used to keep a copy of the first edit of "The Stand" (approx 2,000 pages) on my toilet tank.

I have also toyed with a design of the ultimate bathroom. What are the amenities you ask?

Welllll...
A heated cushioned toilet seat w/adjustable leg rest
40 inch plasma HD TV w/ Bang and Olufsen theater system, & digital cable/sat. w/DVD/Tivo, & PS2/X-box.
Wireless high speed w/VoIP phone.
Mini fridge & mini microwave
Remote controlled magnetic lock
And a flashing "Hazardous Materials" sign on the door

The idea came to me after watching an episode of "Married With Children" when Peg girlied up Al's Bathroom.

Someday i will build it...Someday!








on Feb 05, 2005
Ah, the dream bathroom. Someday. Someday.
on Feb 05, 2005
You are not the only one who reads in the bathroom. The guys at work take novels or computer magazines when they go. It's kind of a running joke.

When people ask when so-and-so will be back, you know that if the individual took a book with him, that there was no telling when, if ever, he would return.
on Feb 05, 2005
I can never understand how my dad was able to read almost the whole newspaper in the bathroom. And our toilets were squating ones back when I was little. And he could be in there for more than fifteen minutes. Talk about a lot of shit to unload. To me it's gross to be in the toilet and be shitting for so long - it stinks for one and hovering over your own shit for so long sounds disgusting to me.
on Feb 05, 2005

We're bathroom readers too, our whole family reads on the pot.  We have magazines for light reading, and novels should the ocasion arise that you need to be in there for a little longer and require something with more substance.


Right now we have 'Backwoods' and 'Real Simple' magazines, 'Slaughterhouse 5' and 'The adventures of Captain Underpants and Super Diaper baby'.


 

on Feb 05, 2005
I too come from a long line of bathroom readers. We have a magazine rack with Rolling Stones, Q's, Time and whatever other magazines end up in there. As well, I find I do some of my best thinking while on the can. I find inspiration occurs while I'm under the shower as well. It must be something about the meditative qualities of these simple tasks that puts me in touch with a lot of the crap (pardon the pun) in my subconcious.

I had a friend who would take his guitar into the toilet with him. He did it for two reasons, the first being the terrific bathroom acoustics. The second was because he'd written some of his best lyrics while on the can and wanted to have his guitar with him in there just in case a good tune occured to him as well.

Cheers,

Maso
on Feb 05, 2005

As well, I find I do some of my best thinking while on the can. I find inspiration occurs while I'm under the shower as well. It must be something about the meditative qualities of these simple tasks that puts me in touch with a lot of the crap (pardon the pun) in my subconcious.


Me too.  I have a morning routine (and this may be too much info for some of you) - but I have a Buddhist reading-a-day book that sits on the tank, and when I go pee first thing I'll pick it up and read the day's reading (that's one advantage of being a chick, we can read when we're peeing)...then hop in the shower and think about what I just read. 


I think it's the mundaneness of the task that makes you be able to clear your mind and really think. 


I do like the guitar idea.  If I still played, I think I might have to try that out.

on Feb 05, 2005
I think it's the mundaneness of the task that makes you be able to clear your mind and really think.


I agree completely. Mindless tasks empty the head and clear a path to higher understanding, perhaps?

I do like the guitar idea.


My 'smallest room' is a little tight for me and a guitar. Besides, I think T would probably think I'm mad. Well, she already does think this anyway, so there's no reason for me to actually give her anymore proof.
on Feb 05, 2005
I also come from a line of bathroom readers. However, it seemed to skip a generation. My father never could read while in the bathroom. I have Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Page-A-Day Calendar that keeps me occupied.

If I was reading a book and suddenly had to go, I would bring the book the bathroom with me and finish off the chapter.

Why are we talking about this? Oh...I have to go to the bathroom now! Seriously!
on Feb 05, 2005
Ah, great to know there are other proud bathroom readers out there.

I can really understand the thinking in the bahroom thing. Time to go read!
on Feb 05, 2005
Ah, I really learned a lot from that trip to the bathroom. I learned about:

Trivial

Meaning: Of little or no consequence or value

Origin: In Ancient Rome, people often met at a trivium—from the Latin words tri (“three”) and via (“way”), a “place where three roads meet.” What did people do there? Mostly just talked about everyday things—the weather, gossip, and other matters of little importance. It is from the idle chatter that took place there that we get the word trivia.
®Uncle John's Bathroom Reader
on Feb 06, 2005
I have a bookcase in my bathroom filled with reading material. It's a hell of a lot better than just staring at the wall...
on Feb 07, 2005

I am a bathroom reader as well.  Mostly because I am past the age of a quick dump and go, so instead of wasting 10-20 minutes starting at the tile, I read.  mostly Professional Magazines (e.g. PC Week). You can usually finish an article in the time it takes you.

Good Luck with the Simillarion.  I read that a few years ago (I have read the Trilogy about 10 times before that).  It helps to put the history of Middle Earth into perspective.

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