JU Writing Challenge #2: Spreading red

-or- and exercise in one sentence

Published on November 24, 2006 By BlueDev In Writing

Fascinated, she watched the pool of red liquid continue to spread until she realized the dead don't drink.

Comments

on Nov 24, 2006

Hmm . . .

I know you said this was weak, but I found it fascinating. Genuinely.

Love the "excercise in one sentence". Gonna have to start doing that myself . . . trying to fit everything you want to say into one litte phrase is impressive . . . just as long as your "excercise in one sentence" doesn't turn into El otoño del patriarca by Gabriel García Márquez. Three hundred pages, one long sentence . . .

MasonM

on Nov 24, 2006

I have always been a fan of the one liner, which you seem to have mastered here.

Shovelheat

on Nov 24, 2006

Brevity is the soul of wit. Excellent!

dynamaso

on Nov 24, 2006

Not weak at all, mate. Well thought out and concise.

BlueDev

on Nov 25, 2006

Thanks for the comments. There are still some things that bug me with this sentence, but it was actually an interesting exercise. Glad you enjoyed it.

foreverserenity

on Nov 27, 2006

Now I'm wondering if she is having a zombie experience because of someone else or she herself is dead?! Interesting!

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