I doubt that you are a heartless bastard Dev, but you are in a profession that requires an emotional distance if you expect to stay sane and work.
What excuses people have for putting themselves into bad situations again and again are just that, excuses. No one wants to feel that it is their fault.

Or perhaps I am just a heartless bastard.

You are. But so am I.

Birds of a feather and all that jazz.

You are right. I don't believe in fate. I don't quite believe in luck either (maybe that's why I never have any lucky when it comes to the lottery, but that's outside of this discussion).

Throwing your hands up and saying it's just fate, sometimes kinda feels like you are just giving up. Sure sometimes things happen to you, shit happens, people suffer -- it's not fate -- it's caused by something, not necessary by you but it's definetly by something or someone. Hardly any such things as "written in the stars".

What excuses people have for putting themselves into bad situations again and again are just that, excuses. No one wants to feel that it is their fault.

Very true Geezer.  Very true.  I actually just saw a rerun of Scrubs that was along these lines. 

You are. But so am I.

Punk.

Throwing your hands up and saying it's just fate, sometimes kinda feels like you are just giving up. Sure sometimes things happen to you, shit happens, people suffer -- it's not fate -- it's caused by something, not necessary by you but it's definetly by something or someone. Hardly any such things as "written in the stars".

I agree.  Insightful comment Raven.  Thanks.

Punk.

Have you ever thought to yourself that, since most of the people here don't understand the way our brotherly relationship works, they probably think we're supreme jerks to each other?

Ah, deadpan. Jones family signature. Thanks daddy for putting that in the gene pool.

Have you ever thought to yourself that, since most of the people here don't understand the way our brotherly relationship works, they probably think we're supreme jerks to each other?

You mean we're not?  Oh.  I have been confused for all these years. 

On a more serious note, if wherever you go, trouble follows, then it's highly likely that you're the trouble. No one is *that* innocent, and random events and acts of God aside, we are largely responsible for our own grief.

That is so true.  Putting a political spin on this, this is the very reason I can't stand the Democratic party, even though I have felt I couldn't fit in the Republican party either.  The Democratic party, and in my opinion, much of liberalism seems to center, these days, on absolving people of taking responsibility of themselves.  Affirmative Action, welfare handouts, abortion and just so many of the Democratic social policies focus on just that notion: we aren't responsible for ourselves.

I refuse to accept that, and I have a mighty hard time with those who espouse such ideas.

what good or bad comes to us in our lives is predominantly of our own doing

I don't much believe in fate, kismet or whatever. One of the wisest things I've ever learnt is if you have a crappy attitude then you're going to cop a lot of crap. I know someone who constantly complains about how people treat her but at the same time, treats everyone around her like they're second class citizens. It used to concern me, but it is her life, not mine. If she can't see who is causing all her problems then how am I going to make her look in a mirror?

Or perhaps I am just a heartless bastard

I don't believe this for a second... Well, okay, bastard, maybe, but heartless, not at all

Good article Peter. Naw, you're not heartless or a bastard!!


Having a lot of heart, yes, caring too much, yes....it's not going to be easy for you is it? I'm glad there are people like you who are doing what you do though.


As for destiny, and fate, I'm a firm believer in both. I do however feel that we all individually have something to do with what happens to us in our lives. Yes, there are things we have no control over, yet the outcome will sometimes depend on you the individual. God gave us all a talent, it's what we make of it that counts. Sitting on it and not making our lives useful and claiming 'woe is me', well, we're kinda asking for it uh?!

I changed out a CD in my car today and put in LIT, with My Own Worst Enemy on it.
Made me laugh thinking about your article. You know the song;
It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy,
Coz every now and then I kick the living sh*t outta me...

If you continually find yourself in trouble, persecuted, treated unfairly, shat upon and ostracised, the place to look for blame is in the mirror.

Exactly.

They'll never see it though. If you guys notice, the ones who complain a lot about other people are usually the problem themselves. If you give them a mirror, they'd be playing with it by reflecting the light off it into other people's eyes. It's not pleasant being around people who like to do that.

absolving oneself of personal responsibility.

I couldn't agree more, Dev. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm happy about having to take responsibility for my sins, transgressions and other more minor infractions against society. Couldn't I let someone else take the blame for once? Sheesh, I do get tired of having to say I'm sorry.