-or- The burden of bad feelings
We have all seen it. People who walk around either so full of themselves or so insecure in themselves that they ever have a chip on their shoulder. Quick to offend and even more swift to take offense, they look for the insult in each and every action. And if your opinion differs from theirs, well, take cover, because they will come out with their sleeves up, ready to rumble.
Some see it as a sign of courage, some see it as a sign of aggression, and yet others see it as a sign of deep conviction. As for myself, well, I see it as a heavy, ponderous burden.
See, that chip on their shoulder they carry around so freely really is much more insidious than it at first appears. A closer inspection reveals that not only is the chip larger than first thought, but it also has claws, sharp ones, with which it has found a solid purchase. And every time that chip gets knocked off it actually grows. It tightens its grip. It becomes that much more weighty.
Pretty soon one walks around, knuckles dragging on the ground, hunched over, no longer really human. The humanity and decency has been sucked away by this burden. All that is left is a shell. A once human who now functions to keep the monkey happy, to pick another fight, to insult another human. Jealous of what he or she once had, that person seeks out others with similar chips, and similar burdens. They congregate, relishing in each other's misery, and hope to add to their group.
Too often we let them get to us. We lash out in similar fashion, thinking that will get them off our backs. In fact we are inviting their monkey to send one of its own our way. And we can never really see the burdens we invite. We don't see them as burdens, but trophies. Fights we won that we can place on the mantle. But too often we can't let them go, so we carry them around, willing slaves to our own pride and aggression. We join their little party.
We don't have to though. We can choose to be above that. But it truly takes effort and energy. But not only can we do it, we really should. And if we want to retain our humanity we really must.