-or- A life less fulfilled
We all hunger for acceptance. On a certain level we all need to feel that we are part of something larger than ourselves. It may be a religious group, a political party, a school organization, a group of good friends, a family, a fan club.
Or, as we have seen here at JU, it may even be just being part of a lie.
And that shocks and appalls me.
That someone would feel the need for some sort of acceptance so bad that they would willingly make themselves part of a lie boggles my mind. The fact that it is neither a particularly clever or well crafted lie makes the notion even more anathema to me. And the fact that someone would spend so much time, energy, and possibly money ('cause webspace usually ain't free these days) fulfilling the need to be accepted by crafting these lies sickens me.
I am a simple guy. Sure, I use a screen name here and at other forums I have posted at. But I have never felt the desire to hide behind that name. I am who I am whether the name says BlueDev, Jexxster (another one I use often), or Peter Jones (yeah, that one is real). I say what I would say no matter what, be who I am here, there and everywhere. I can see the draw to become something you aren't, the fascination of making yourself larger than you really are. But I suppose I am pretty happy with my life, with who I am and the love of those around me that to fabricate a web of deceit that leaves all that out in favor of a persona of greater prestige or wealth or less moral fiber just seems wrong.
What joy is gained from playing along with the lie, especially when the lie is such a fraudulent and malignant creature?
I ask honestly because I would love to know. What does the acceptance and the pseudo-kind words of a poorly written and paper thin fictional character earn one? Because every time you play with the lie, every time you kiss up to the lie, every time you stoke the fires that feed the fraud you give up a little bit of yourself. How many times can you lie without having it pick at you, even just a little? Not many times I posit.
And so when one comes to the aid of a liar we accept the lie. We internalize it. We give ourselves to it.
And lies never give anything back.