Don"t. Make. My. Daughter. Cry.

-or- A broken heart and a pissed off daddy

Published on September 14, 2004 By BlueDev In Home & Family

My daughter was very quiet this afternoon when I picked her up from her friend's house. I asked her what was going on and all I got was some silly answer. I could tell there was more, but I didn't want to push.

It was a rough evening. She told me "No" more times than I can recall. Fortunately I didn't get upset. When I asked if I she would lay down in the bath so I could get her hair wet and she answered with the word of the day I quietly said "Okay" and left the bathroom. I went and kept working on dinner and she sat there in the bath. I think she figured out that I was just doing what she had said, and that what she had said was pretty dumb.

But at dinner it all came out. My wife got home and suddenly there must have been enough estrogen in the room. She started crying, talking about how her two friends were mean to her.

And I just about lost it.

It broke my heart to sit there and listen to my sweet daughter talk about her friends writing unkind things about her. Sure, she can be a snot sometimes. Is there a child that isn't? But she really is a sweet girl. Just this weekend she spent hours drawing pictures and then writing things on them such as "I love you" for both of these friends. I just hurt watching the tears run down her face, her lower lip quivering.

But at the same time I was furious. It is so hard as a parent to sit there, see that someone is hurting your child like this, and help her understand that it just happens. They apologized to her, and we tried to help her understand that she needed to forgive them. As young as she is I really think she got it. And she seemed okay about things after we talked.

I wish I was. Just writing about it hurts my heart.

Comments

Janders

on Sep 14, 2004

I'm sorry, kids are really cruel, most of all girls. That sucks!

Dusk411

on Sep 14, 2004

I saw the movie Mean Girls and for me, it had some truth in it. Girls are verbally mean to each other, but are more subtle about it also.

However, it's awful that kids treat each other that way. I hope she realized that not all friends treat each other like that.

BlueDev

on Sep 15, 2004

It is intersting you mention that Janders. I have noticed that girls seem to be a lot more cruel to each other. Boys fight, show off, act stupid and bully, but it often isn't as long lasting and doesn't have nearly the same undercurrent of cruelty that I have seen in girls. When I was mad at another boy we would just punch each other and then forget about it, not start some smear campaign against the other person.

Dusk411, although not all friends treat each other like that I do fear that we all do at some moments. I wish I could say I never did, but there were times. I think a lot of it is, as kindergarteners, they are still trying to figure out the whole social aspect of having multiple friends and balancing the different friendships. That just really isn't something you see or have to deal with until they hit school. So it is all new territory for us.

Thanks for your comments, both of you.

dharmagrl

on Sep 16, 2004

Awww, Dev! This bought a tear to my eye! my little guy is having the same problem with the kids acorss the street...they're a little older than him and they pick on him a bit. He came in crying earlier because they threw a spider at him (they know he detests spiders). I feel so bad for him, he's trying so hard to be friendly and nice and all he gets is mean-ness.

I imagine that your little girl feels much the same way.

Give her a hug from me...and tell her that Auntie Dharma says not to worry about it, they're just meanies.

Ravenblack

on Sep 17, 2004

Kids can be very cruel. I remember my first year in primary school, and I don't know why but they just don't like me. I was in an all girls school back then. Those girls are mean, and they like to gather together, and tell others to hate you too. I can't remember exactly why - maybe it is because I am poor and they are rich, or I just didn't know how to get along (an only child and all, and I was rather quiet to begin with). I remember crying about it. These girls just laughed at me. I became nastier back at them later on. Needless to say I don't have many I consider friends from primary school. oh look, I've gone into a mindless ramble again. It was hard and not a pleasant memory. Come to think of it those little bitches never said they were sorry. ah well... lol

BlueDev

on Sep 17, 2004

Dharma - Thanks for the hug for Jessica. She is doing a lot better. I think it was just a passing thing because yesterday her name was moved down on the board from S to S- (for behavior) because she and one of the girls who was being mean were giving each other a hug. (Yes, the real teacher is gone this week, her father passed away, so you mainly have a TA and the student teacher in charge - they don't quite get it yet). Things are looking up for her.

Ravenblack - You story just reiterates my belief that girls can be much more mean than boys. Boys didn't usually start rumors, whisper campaigns and such. They just usually beat each other up and then moved on. At least we did. Of course, this isn't always true. Sorry to hear about those mean, nasty little girls!

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