A silly little blog for me to drop the excrement of my mind.
-or- laying myself bare
Published on October 16, 2004 By BlueDev In Religion
The following is extremely long. But I didn't want to seem a point grubber, so I am placing the entire article here as I wrote it. If it is too long to read I understand.

I consider 100 articles here to be quite an achievement for me. Sixty or so articles ago I had pretty much decided to toss it in, stop all together, and not come back. Those reasons are my own, and not infrequently are reinforced, but I chose to continue blogging, mainly because I found it was helping me think things through more clearly. I found myself not only writing articles, but thinking about things as if I were going to write an article, analyzing, articulating, and paying more attention to what was going on around me. This was a good thing, so I decided to continue, to push past that wall of apathy that I allow to stop me at times. Seems sort of silly to make such an effort at blogging, but I felt it was a personal victory that I wanted to attain on other levels, and my blog was just the catalyst for that.

So here I sit, composing my “landmark” article. Ninety-nine articles under my belt, ranging from my ramblings on music, family and home, personal relationships, random goings on in my life, some of my own prose, and a random political article here and there. As I was anticipating what I wanted to write about with #100 I thought back on my “Who is BlueDev” article. There were some things I mentioned there about myself, my beliefs, my family, that are very important to me. And while it was a bit unsettling writing about me so candidly, I also found it to be of worth. As I have been contemplating some new articles I wish to write as well, I felt my 100th could serve as a good backdrop to some of those. So, if you have managed to make it through all of this so far, well, here goes (finally).

I have numerous beliefs, many shared with others here, and some that are perhaps not as common. They are central to my life, to who I am and to where I plan on going. I try to live every day by those beliefs, but fall short very often. I screw up more often than I wish, and so I sincerely hope that nothing that follows comes off as pious. I recognize I have many flaws, but use my beliefs to try to work to overcome them. Hopefully, day by day, I make a little progress. The following is what gets me there. Finally, lest anyone think I am trying to force my beliefs on others, well, you chose to come and read. All are welcome to come and go as they feel fit.

I believe in God. I believe that He exists. I believe that He is omniscient, omnipotent and eternal. I believe that He is our Heavenly Father and created us spiritually before we were ever born. I believe that our spirit is eternal; we existed before we came to this earth, and we will continue to exist long after our mortal frames cease to be. I believe that God is more than love, more than an entity, more than a vague vapor that exists everywhere and nowhere. I believe that He has a perfect, glorified immortal body and that when The Bible states “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Old Testament | Genesis 1:27) that it is quite literal. I believe that He created this world for us, that we might come to earth, obtain a physical body, and learn to overcome our carnal, natural selves. And more than anything, I believe that, as our Heavenly Father, He has a plan for us, to allow us to return to His presence if we are faithful. He has a plan because of His great love for us. I believe He listens to our prayers, that he answers us when we exercise our faith in Him. But I also believe that, as much as it pains Him to see us err, He has given us the gift of our agency. He neither compels nor forces, only leaves it to us to choose to follow Him, of our own free will.

I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that He is my Savior and my Redeemer. I believe that He is the Son of God, that He died for me on the cross, and that He was resurrected on the third day, overcoming the bands of death. I believe that He is a glorified, perfected being who now stands on the right hand of His Father, our Father, God. I believe that Christ offered Himself as a sacrifice for our sins. I believe that justice and mercy are both eternal laws, and that when I transgress the laws of God that a price must be paid. I believe that Christ has paid that price through is glorious atonement wrought in the Garden of Gethsemane and again on Calvary’s Hill. I also believe that in order to receive the blessings of the atonement I must exercise faith. I must not only believe, but I must live in such a way that the atonement of Christ can have effect in my life, for as Paul taught “faith without works is dead” (New Testament | James 2:20). I believe that it is only through the grace of Christ that I may be forgiven of my sins and live with God again. But I also believe that to truly show that faith I must not just speak it, but live it, make it the very center of every day. I believe that only through Christ may I return to the presence of my loving Father again, and that the atonement of Christ is the central part of God’s plan for us, His children. I believe that Christ overcame the two deaths that separate us from our Father in Heaven, the physical and the spiritual. I believe that we all will die and we all sin. Christ’s resurrection loosed the bands of death, and we will all be resurrected and receive glorified, immortal bodies. I believe this is a gift to all of us. But I also believe that the spiritual death, the separation that comes about as a fault of our own personal sins, can only be overcome through our faithfulness.

I believe that anciently The Lord called chosen people to serve Him as His prophets. I believe He spoke with them “face to face” (Old Testament | Exodus 33:11), that He revealed His truths to them, and that He spread His word to the earth through them. I also believe that “Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.” (Old Testament | Amos 3:7). I believe those prophets revealed the truth of the gospel to God’s children here on the earth. Through them He prepared the world for the coming of Jesus Christ, and after His ascension into heaven His apostles continued to teach the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. However, I also believe that, as prophesied by Amos “Behold, the days come, saith the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD: And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the LORD, and shall not find it” (Old Testament | Amos 8:11 - 12). Shortly after the time of Christ, the Apostle Paul reiterated this to the Thessalonians when he told them (speaking of the second coming of Christ) “for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first” (New Testament | 2 Thessalonians 2:3). I believe that this “falling away” came in the form of a great apostasy not long after Christ’s resurrection and ascension to His Father. The truth, in its entirety, was lost from the earth for centuries. Many truths still existed, still were taught, but not in their pure form, not in their entirety. I believe that, due to this apostasy, the power to officiate in the ordinances of the gospel was lost. This priesthood, this authority to direct and lead Christ’s church was lost from the land.

I believe that this necessitated a restoration of the truth. And as was done anciently, The Lord again called a prophet in our day and revealed the truth of the gospel to him and gave him that authority. I believe that that first prophet of our times, through whom the restoration of Christ’s church was carried out, was Joseph Smith. I believe that, as a youth earnestly seeking the truth, he retired to a secluded grove of trees and prayed to know the truth about religion. I believe that, in Joseph’s own words “I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me . . . When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!” (Pearl of Great Price | JS-History 1:16 - 17). As incredible as it may seem, I do believe that Joseph Smith was visited by God The Father and His Son Jesus Christ, and that, as in times of old, they conversed with him “face to face” and that through him the truth was once again restored to the earth. I believe that God has continued to call prophets in our time. I believe His love for us is just as great as it was in ancient times, and that we need His words in our times just as much (if not more) than in times of old. I believe that Gordon B. Hinckley is The Lord’s prophet on earth today, and that through him we can continue to hear the words that God wants us to hear, that we may return to His presence.

I believe that The Bible is the word of God. But I also believe that it has been translated time and again by well-meaning but uninspired men. And as such I believe that there may be problems with the translation, lost truths and meanings, and inconsistencies that have been propagated through the years. But I believe that God loves all His children and sent His words and messages to more than just those in and around Jerusalem. I believe that He led some of His children here to the American continent, and that He gave them His words as well. I believe that the prophet Joseph Smith, The Lord revealed his words to those on the American continent and that they can be found in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. I believe it to also be the word of God, and that it teaches the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe that together, The Bible and The Book of Mormon teach us more fully the gospel of Christ and that “they shall become one in thine hand” (Old Testament | Ezekiel 37:17). I believe that God can speak to all His children and that He has said “Thou fool, that shall say: A Bible, we have got a Bible, and we need no more Bible. Have ye obtained a Bible save it were by the Jews? Know ye not that there are more nations than one? Know ye not that I, the Lord your God, have created all men, and that I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea; and that I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath; and I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth? Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? Know ye not that the testimony of two nations is a witness unto you that I am God, that I remember one nation like unto another? Wherefore, I speak the same words unto one nation like unto another. And when the two nations shall run together the testimony of the two nations shall run together also.” (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 29:6 - 8). As Paul testified “In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.” (New Testament | 2 Corinthians 13:1). I believe that The Book of Mormon is another witness of Jesus Christ.

I believe that the family is the fundamental unit of the gospel. I believe that families are ordained of God, and that they have the potential to be eternal. When my wife and I were married (in the Bountiful, Ut temple) there was no mention of “Till death do [us] part”. We were promised that, if we were faithful to each other and the promises we made to our Father in Heaven that our marriage will continue after this life. That, just as our souls are eternal and we will be resurrected, our family ties can be eternal as well. I believe that, if we are faithful, my family will continue on through eternity, and nothing makes me more joyful than that promise. To be with my wife and our family throughout the generations, in the presence of our Heavenly Father is the greatest promise I can conceive.

Perhaps just as important as what I believe, though, is why I believe it. To be quite frank, I was raised with these beliefs. I have wonderful parents who were strict but loving. They taught me these things from childhood. But I knew that wasn’t enough. As I saw it (and as I see it), everything depended on the truthfulness of The Book of Mormon. Because if The Book of Mormon was true, then Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I cannot imagine God revealing true scripture to a false prophet. And so I read The Book of Mormon. I pondered its words; I studied it together with The Bible. And when I reached the end of The Book of Mormon I read the promise contained therein: “Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Book of Mormon | Moroni 10:3 - 5). So I knelt myself down to pray, I poured my heart out to my Father in Heaven, and I asked Him quite plainly if The Book of Mormon was true. I exercised all my faith that God would give me an answer and He did. The Bible teaches us that “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (New Testament | Galatians 5:22 - 23). As I knelt in prayer I received an unmistakable confirmation of the truth through the Holy Spirit. I was filled with a joy that I cannot describe, a feeling of peace and happiness so great that I could not deny that The Lord was answering my prayers. Since that time I have continued to study, to pray, and to seek the truth about my beliefs, about Christ’s atonement, about Joseph Smith, about the restoration of the gospel, about modern day prophets. And each time I humbly seek the truth I find it through the power of the Holy Spirit. I take nothing I have been taught or believe on blind faith. I have always made it a practice of discovering the truth for myself, of gaining my own testimony of what I believe. And my wife and I teach the same in our children.

There are other beliefs which I hold, but this is the core, the most fundamental of my beliefs. To be honest, this is quite possibly the most difficult article I have ever written (and certainly the most long winded), simply because I am putting my most dear and sacred beliefs out in the open for scrutiny and to be possible reviled. But I would be a poor believer if I didn’t have sufficient faith in my own beliefs to stand a little scrutiny. There you have it. If you actually read this far you now know far more about me than I would have ever thought I would share. But I knew if I didn’t that I would regret it. I would love to hear what others believe and hold to be sacred if they should feel so inclined.

Comments
on Oct 17, 2004
We share similar thoughts, BlueDev.

Especially this: "I believe that this “falling away” came in the form of a great apostasy not long after Christ’s resurrection and ascension to His Father. The truth, in its entirety, was lost from the earth for centuries. Many truths still existed, still were taught, but not in their pure form, not in their entirety."

And I'm often doing this: "And each time I humbly seek the truth I find it through the power of the Holy Spirit. I take nothing I have been taught or believe on blind faith. I have always made it a practice of discovering the truth for myself, of gaining my own testimony of what I believe."

I find it admirable and very brave of you to state your beliefs so openly.I have a post in this forum recently a bit about my beliefs.

I have a copy of the Mormon bible. I once encountered a mormon missionary at a bus station several years ago and that was the first time I heard of Mormons. The thing is you cannot obtain a copy unless you join the church. I have no intention to join anymore churches. Still, I would love a copy of the Mormon scriptures. I was curious, I heard and read things about Mormons and I had wanted to find out more about them. You will appreciate this testimony of how I got my mormon bible I think. I was looking around during a university yard sale where they were getting rid of secondhand books at cheap prices. I was standing there and looking around. Suddenly, the student incharge of putting the books out came along and threw a whole bunch of books down on the table in front of me. The one that landed right before me was the Book of Mormon. You can imagine my surprise. I bought it. It was a brand new copy, totally unmarked. Interesting don't you think? Considered Mormon bibles aren't even supposed to be sold...

Anyways, my relationship with God is a purely personal based one, because I don't go to church anymore. I guess one can say I lost faith in churches. Maybe I have encountered too many behaviors that disgusted me. I won't elborate them now, suffice to say, it was an ugly experience - of church leaders claiming about things they have no business claiming about. I can no longer concentrate when I'm praying in church somehow, so I just decided not to pretend and so I don't go anymore. I cannot shake away my christian beliefs as easily it seems. There have been times I wish I could abandon faith, but you can't deny what you truly believe, I guess.

God bless you, BlueDev.
on Oct 17, 2004
Thank you so much for your words Ravenblack. I can tell you, putting this out here was hard, but I felt it was something I needed to do. Also, thank you for sharing your faith as well.

Just wanted to mention though, that you don't have to join the church to obtain a copy of The Book of Mormon. Anyone can request on for free, no strings attached. I won't lie and say that if you request one via the phone or internet you won't get any contact whatsoever. When someone requests a copy the fastest and easiest way to get it to them is just send a notice to the local missionaries, and they can bring one over. Of course, they are going to ask if the person wants to learn more, but if they say no they still get the copy.

Of interest, recently a large US publisher approached The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the full name, most just call us The Mormons) and asked if they could publish a commercial version of The Book of Mormon. It will be interesting to see what comes of that.

God bless you too Ravenblack.
on Oct 18, 2004
BlueDev, I admire you for writing this, and at the same time I'm jealous that you're able to believe so absolutely. I don't think I'll ever be able to do that again.

-A.
on Oct 19, 2004
Thanks for your kind words Angloesque. As I mentioned, it wasn't easy to open myself like this. As far as believing so absolutely, well I don't think I would go that far. I still will have doubts surface. And when they do I set myself to studying them, pondering the questions, and lots of prayer. It is an ongoing process for me.
on Oct 19, 2004
I admire you for writing this. I too, am a Mormon, but I would never have thought to post my beliefs in a forum where there are so many people who are prone to be critical of others beliefs. I am grateful you opened yourself like this....it brings more insight into who you are....
on Oct 19, 2004
Lifehappens--Wow, another Mormon around these here parts! Very cool. As to the writing of the article, well, I had been thinking long and hard about what I wanted to write about for my "landmark" 100th post. Suddenly the thought came to me to write this. The more I thought about it the more I felt the need to write it. So here it ended up. Thanks for stopping by!
on Oct 31, 2004
Blue Dev -- I think we share many similar beliefs. Wow, I was rather impressed with how similar they seemed for a while.

I thinkt he major difference is that I believe Christ wasn't created ... I believe in the Trinity, as bolstered by some 600 (or so) verses in the Bible (which I don't believe to be misconstrued by time.) I believe Christ is God and he is the Word of God made flesh (John 1:14) and by the Word, the world was created. (Genesis, 1). Jesus said, "I and the Father are One." When people called Him "good teacher" he would say, "don't you know none is good but God?" Either He is is God (and is good) or he is just a teacher and he can't be both.

Therefore, I think we have different Gods. I don't think God was ever a person. I don't think we can ever be Gods. I think this is fraudulent and not our purpose. I don't think the Book of Mormon lines up at all with Scripture. It doesn't hold when tested by Holy Scripture. I also think a lot of Joseph's beliefs have been disavowed by a church that still claims God spoke to him and I find that hard to swallow -- I don't understand how he can be both spoken to by God and wrong. The Bible still lines up line by line to the original Greek and Latin. The Dead Sea Scrolls proved how little it had changed in all those years. Also, historians from near the period the books were written will verify the Scriptures independently. We have nothing like this concerning the Book of Mormon. Only a very unscrupulous record to go with a questionable man with questionable motives... Please don't take offense, this is just my perception and not meant to offend.

However, I think you and I will share this: a great love for all others and a great respect for what they believe and their right to believe it. I loved your article and will read it more closely another time so it can sink in. I do admire that you know what you believe. I hope that you won't kick me off your blog or be angry with me. I really just find it interesting how starkly different Mormonism (LDS) is from Orthodox Christianity. (I might add I was married into a Mormon family and have attended services. I'm not totally ignorant.) Blessings to you.
on Oct 31, 2004
Shulamite--First of all, I would never kick you off my blog for not believing the same things I believe, or even thinking my beliefs are silly. Your reponse was well thought out and not argumentative or combative in the least. I welcome your comments, even if I don't agree with all of them. As I mentioned, I have endeavored to find out for myself the truth of my beliefs. I won't say I have the answers to everything, by any stretch of the imagination. But I have spent more time on my knees, pleading for answers from my Heavenly Father, than I could count. And I received the answers I sought. Ultimately I think this is the key--we each seek for the truth with all our energy and live it when we find it.

I have spent more than enough time "bible bashing" with folks, tossing back and forth verses and teachings. It never did anything except create hostile feelings, and I would never wish to do that here. Thanks again for your comments and feel welcome to stop by anytime.
on Nov 01, 2004
Oh, and to be entirely honest, I think I would be demonstrating a sad lack of belief if I felt the need to blacklist anyone who disagreed with me. God bless Shulamite.
on Nov 05, 2004
BlueDev: You obviously poured a lot of emotion and time into this blog and it is very noticable. I am sorry I missed it when you originally wrote it. I've had fairly negative interactions with Mormon missionaries in the past so it was refreshing to read your point of view about the Mormon religion without feeling like it was beat into me. It's lots of food for thought, so I have a lot to digest now. Thanks for pointing me in this direction.
on Nov 05, 2004
Shades--Thanks for reading. I do hope you know that wasn't why I mentioned it in your thread.

Yeah, I know it is a lot of food for thought. I suppose what is the most frightening is that I restrained myself in a lot of areas. I am also truly sorry about your negative interactions with missionaries of my faith. I too served a mission and know that I probably made some stupid mistakes while doing so. I am not trying to excuse poor behavior, but we are, after all, only 19-21 year old punks. We can be pretty stupid sometimes. Hopefully through the experience we learn and temper ourselves a little bit.
on Nov 05, 2004
Shades--Thanks for reading. I do hope you know that wasn't why I mentioned it in your thread.


Of course, but I do like it when people point me in the direction of things that I've missed--also why I sometimes am glad that mig's articles get spammed.

I too served a mission and know that I probably made some stupid mistakes while doing so. I am not trying to excuse poor behavior, but we are, after all, only 19-21 year old punks


Yes, I try to remember that, and I really need to do some research to figure out if they were really explaining the faith accurately to me. The situation I was in was bizarre, and it had me interacting with them on a daily basis for almost six months. Maybe sometime I'll write about it and you can help me figure out if their advice/opinion/witnessing was valid or totally off the mark.
on Nov 05, 2004
Maybe sometime I'll write about it and you can help me figure out if their advice/opinion/witnessing was valid or totally off the mark.


I would be happy to help in any way. Just let me know.