Becoming Foster Parents

Published on January 3, 2005 By BlueDev In Home & Family

My wife and I firmly believe that there is a higher power and that He is intimately aware of our lives, our circumstances, and our capabilities. We also believe that as we draw close to Him through prayer and our actions that He can inspire us and help provide guidance in our lives. On more occasions than I can count I have had feelings and thoughts that came unbidden, yet that have changed my life in amazing ways. Some may simply write them off as creations of my own deranged mind. They may believe that, but I most certainly believe otherwise. But why write this?

Simply because I really don't want folks to think I am insane (any more than they already do). Perhaps I should rephrase that to say I want people to have a framework to understand my insanity. Better?

Last week the call went out. Some people who attend church with us run an organization of therapeutic foster homes, homes for kids that need a little more structure, kids who have in many cases had pretty rough lives, and require more supervision. Many of the kids do really well in the groups homes (4 in each home), progress quite a bit, and really set their lives straight.

But once their time in the group home is done many still need a place to stay (due to issues at home and such). There is one such girl right now. She needs a place to go, a family to live with, for probably the next year and a half or so. She really wants to live with and LDS family (aka Mormon), would like to stay in Durham so she can go to the same school, and would like someone who speaks Spanish (she is fluent in both, but the Spanish helps with communicating with her family). But there wasn't a home for her.

We fit all three.

And so, after talking about it, pondering it, discussing it with our oldest daughter, and lots of prayer my wife and I told them we would be happy to take her into our home and family.

On the surface it really makes no sense. But the feeling that this was the right thing to do were just too strong to ignore. And while we can't provide everything in the world materially, I know we can provide what matters most: a loving home. The more we think about it, the more we talk about it, the more excited we all are.

But we will gain a whole new respect for my parents and their trials with my teenage sisters.

Comments (Page 2)

Manopeace

on Jan 04, 2005

Blu...anyone that thinks you are insane for this is in fact themselves insane. Every human being deserves love, warmth and family. Those of us that were fortunate enough to have these things throughout our lives sometimes take that for granted.
Again I will say to you Blu...what you and your wife are doing is the noblest thing any human being can do for another.
Whatever differences we might have had in the past, I can honestly say that I am proud that you are a part of our community.

oleteach

on Jan 04, 2005

My prayers go with you in this great adventure. I know that you will look to the Lord for guidance and strength to help His little one on her way. God bless you and yours.

BlueDev

on Jan 04, 2005

Thanks so much oleteach. We will continue to look to the Lord, and are positive that He will help us along the way.

foreverserenity

on Jan 05, 2005

So I finally decided to post it after I grew tired of the other people in the lab I work in telling me we were insane for making this decision. They all wanted to know why I had to leave early (to go and get fingerprinted - and you don't tell someone that without having to offer some sort of explanation). Once I explained to them they looked at me (and told me) as if I had lost my mind completely.

Bludev, let me briefly tell you about my very good friend (also a co-worker) and her husband who became foster parents to two boys (brothers) 7and 9 years old. Their background were very troubled. They also had to be fingerprinted and their lives investigated inside out. While being foster parents, their home gets inspected regularly, including the refridgerator to make sure the thermastat is at the right temperature for the food - just to give you an idea of things to come. Throughout all this, I saw the changes in those boys, good changes. They finally have a family who love them. They recently adopted them. They are now 9 and 11 years old. Our office will be celebrating with a congratulatory shower for my friend sometime this month, with the works.

It's not going to be easy, there will be bumps in the road. But with love and the committment you and your wife have, you'll be ok. Forget the naysayers.

trina_p

on Jan 31, 2005

I feel curious as to what's happening about this situation, but on the otherhand I feel rude to ask because you would probably tell us if you thought it was any of our business. But your latest article you said you were without muse (again) and I wondered about how your wife was going with her pregnancy and what was happening about the fostering - I started to write this 3 times...I just don't want to seem intrusive

BlueDev

on Jan 31, 2005

trina_p: No worries. Not intrusive at all.

Things are moving forward. We had quite a bit of training to do prior to her being able to come here. As this type of foster care is a little different (therapeutic foster care vs traditional), there are very specific rules and regulations we have to follow in the way we interact with her. We have been learning all of that, as well as getting our apartment ready (we bought bunk beds for the girls and moved them to the study to free up a bedroom). In addition we have to wait for the FBI to finish processing our fingerprints and checking for any criminal activities in our pasts. All of that combined has led to it being a slow move. But we got the word tonight that she could be moving in by the earliest next week, at the latest the week after.

My wife is doing well with the pregnancy. I have to give her credit, she has been working hard, keeping in shape, etc. She is now 35 1/7 weeks and is still able to run a couple of miles a day. That has made a big difference. She is starting to feel it though. Can't believe it will be soon.

Thanks for you concern. Don't worry about being intrusive. I hope you come back and can read this.

trina_p

on Jan 31, 2005

Of course I'll come back and read this - I asked didn't I

thanks for the update - your wife's lucky girl before her stage I was already begging for it to be over and done with - of course I wasn't serious until I hit 38 weeks then I was begging yelling and pleeding. But it was the beginning on Summer.

Wow in a few short weeks you'll be the parents of not 2 children but 4 - how exciting and scary at the same time.

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