A silly little blog for me to drop the excrement of my mind.
Published on February 13, 2005 By BlueDev In Personal Relationships
Time.

As it rolls on it carries many things in its wake. Memories fade, pain eases, hope passes away. Relationships strengthen as time continues its eternal press forward, or they flounder and are lost. And in its constant, relentless advance we may gain some knowledge and understanding.

With that understanding comes new insight. In my life (both on and offline) I have met some very interesting people. It is fascinating for me to see how time has changed my perception of those people. With anything, the effects of time cut both ways.

There are quite a few people who, based on first impressions, I found to be detestable. Yet time proved me to be wrong, and as I learned more about them and understood them better closeness formed. I have some good friends in both real life and net life who only became my friends after the passage of time.

Sadly, it has worked in reverse as well.

The persistence of time, in its inexorable press forward has also brought understanding that I perhaps wish it hadn't. Those I once thought I had a bond with, that I understood, have in some cases become as foreign to me as can be imagined. And so relationships that flourished now flounder and I am left wondering who was doing the hiding, me or them.

It can be painful to realize that a friend is now only an acquaintance. And as lamentable as it may seem I don't think there is any way around it. Our energies can only be expended in so many directions, and our time split between only so many areas. The friendships we actively cultivate need to be the ones that are most important to us. That doesn't mean we turn on others. We still remain friends in a more loose sense of the word. But perhaps, if suddenly we find we don't see or hear from someone as often as we used to we should look in ourselves as well, to see how we have changed.

Comments
on Feb 13, 2005
I found out "when the sh*t hits the fan in your/my life " those left at your side are your REAL friends. Sad as that sounds the real test is not just time, it's also dire circumstances.
on Feb 13, 2005
Sad as that sounds the real test is not just time, it's also dire circumstances.


You are right on there Moderateman. Trials can reveal true friends, and interestingly enough, on both sides.

Not only do we see who are really our friends when we have trials, we reveal much about ourselves. Those who stand with us are sincere. But what about those we choose to push away when we have trials? I think that, when times are tough for us, we can gain some insight into ourselves by taking stock of who we push away and who we allow to reach out to us.
on Feb 14, 2005
The persistence of time, in its inexorable press forward has also brought understanding that I perhaps wish it hadn't.


I know this intimately. Some people are so hard to get to know, by the time you do, you wonder why you made the effort in the first place.

As time moves, so does a real human being. We change, move, fall in and out of love, age, and mature. Those that move with us stay with us. Those that don't get left behind. But then, maybe things are supposed to be this way.

Cheers,

Maso
on Feb 14, 2005
Sometimes people just want to go their way - like being on a long journey and the people beside you just happen to be going the same way, so you travel close together because you face the same bumps on the road. Then one day, upon reaching a certain fork in the road, they choose to go one way and you another. It's like that sometimes.

That's not so bad though.

I really hate to be disappointed by a friend. Someone who claims to be one way and suddenly or eventually changes face. Someone who says or does things just to manipulate those around them. Someone who just wants attention, or just want to leech. Makes it very hard for me to trust them if I find out they do things like that.
on Feb 14, 2005
Some people are so hard to get to know, by the time you do, you wonder why you made the effort in the first place


Ugh, I too have fallen into that one. But it is part of life and part of trying to be an open person.

But then, maybe things are supposed to be this way.


To a degree I think it is an inevitable part of life. Not wonderful, but not necessarily bad either. Hopefully we don't burn too many bridges along the way though.

I really hate to be disappointed by a friend. Someone who claims to be one way and suddenly or eventually changes face. Someone who says or does things just to manipulate those around them. Someone who just wants attention, or just want to leech. Makes it very hard for me to trust them if I find out they do things like that.


I do too. It is painful to feel like you have simply been a pawn in someone else's game.
on Feb 14, 2005
Hopefully we don't burn too many bridges along the way


This is why I work hard at making sure I don't regret anything I do. Leave the bridges for others to cross...
on Feb 17, 2005
So true, so true. It's painful to loose a friend and I'm not talking about dying. It's even harder when the ones you thought were your friends, turned out to be opportunists.
on Feb 21, 2005
well said, just try not to become cynical......