I recall reading the book "Grendel" and being introduced to stream of consciousness writing.  It was interesting, unsettling, and difficult to wade through.  I always wondered if my stream of consciousness was that random, that jumpy, that incomplete.  Consciously, I tend to think in pretty complete sentences.  But am I just making myself think that way?  Or do I suppress real stream of consciousness by forcing my thoughts in a particular direction?  I wonder.

So I decided to attempt to write along my stream of consciousness.  Of course it will be artificial as the very ct of writing itself forces one to think in a somewhat structured and coherent manner.  But I am going to type without looking at what I am writing, to see if that changes how things come out.  Who knows if it will work.  I sure don't.

I often have music going in my head.  Perhaps that is why I feel stream of consciousness is so hard to really attain.  If I am not thinking something definite then I am playing music on my internal media player.  It works pretty well.  The quality is second to none, and the variety is impressive.  It can shuffle from something metal to something classical in a second, though doesn't too often to be hones.  Pop music, unfortunately, does have a place in the rotation and I find myself moving that direction more than I might like.  But I always fall back to the good old tunes.  Some Rush, some Fates Warning, other classics.  It might be what I was listening to most recently, such as this morning. 

Metallica has never been one of my favorite bands, but I really love Dream Theater's official bootleg of them playing the entire album live.  Good stuff.  James LaBrie doesn't have the best voice for that type of singing though.  He is sort of one dimensional.  Clear, operatic, good tenor singing is his forte.  When he tries to get into the growly, more aggressive singing it falls flat.  Russell Allen really has him in that regard.  A much more versatile singer.  One of the most versatile singers out there.  I know a lot of metal fans think Mikael Akerfeldt is versatile, apparently missing the fact that his voice has two modes: Cookie Monster and melancholy.  Nothing else in between.  But it works for what they sing.  Just doesn't have the range of expressive ability like Russell Allen or Devin Townsend.

Listened to a little Project Eko last night.  Weird techno stuff from Devin.  Interesting, but it got boring pretty fast.  I have been having so much fun with tweaking foobar though that I just look for new things to listen to and play with how the display is.  Yes, I am a geek.  My next big step is going to be to partition my HD and install MEPIS Linux on a partition.  I just want to know what the fuss is about and get a feel for what Linux is like.  Though I still will primarily use Windows.  Too many custo goodies for me to not use it.

And the stream stops, music kicks in.  Perhaps I listen to too much music.  I don't think so though.  There are times I value silence, but a little quite music playing is always better.  Tired.  So tired.  Don't really know why, but I hope it doesn't adversely affect my trip to SC tomorrow.  There and back again.  Oh joy.  All for a 5 minute presentation.  But it goes on my CV and gets me some face time for the Urologists there, so I suppose it is a good thing.  Though I have to admit to feeling a little burned out on the med school thing right now.  The attitudes are the most frustrating right now.  Only a few people actually seem sincere, the rest are just butt-kissers standing in line, ready to get the brown on their noses.  Disgusting little pukes really.

I wonder if things would have been different had I gone to a different school?  I don't wish I had though.  Staying in Utah and going to the U of U would have been nice in some aspects, but there are so many things we would have missed out on had we done that.  There are things we missed out on since we came out here too, but I like what we have, where we are, and think this is still the best choice we could have made.  But some days the Duke attitude is a real thorn in my side.  Not that the attitude at the U would have been any better.  They certainly think highly of themselves.  Good for them.

I think I have rambled long enough.  It was interesting to see the direction that took.  I really didn't know where it was going to go when I started writing.  Perhaps you can achieve a certain degree of pseudo-stream of consciousness when you write.  Now to hit post from Blog Navigator and see if things are all straightened out.

*BlueDev crosses his fingers*