A silly little blog for me to drop the excrement of my mind.
-or- I know more than a few
Published on April 14, 2005 By BlueDev In Misc
"Often Guests forget their things
Leave their hats, their coats and rings
Other people leave their stains
Leave their shadows leave their pains

Some people leave their bones
Some things you can't return
"

--Devon Graves (Dead Soul Tribe) "Some Things you can't Return"

We would like to think we are all individual, autonomous beings. We would like to think that what we does only affects us. We would like to believe that others have no power over us.

We would like to.

But we can't. To do so is to blatantly lie to ourselves.

Connections, strands of a wide spun web, bind us to each other in many different ways. Some strands are vibrant and powerful, others thin and frail. But there they are, linking us to those around us, to those we have met, even to those we 'know' online. Depending on to whom these strands connect, they can act as a safety net, catching us when we fall, and even helping to pull us up. Or perhaps they are a cleverly crafted noose, just waiting for the bottom to fall out.

Everywhere we go, in everything we do, we leave a part of us behind. And some things you can't return.

I truly believe that people are inherently good. It is the optimist in me. Yet we don't all choose to remain good. Many elect to replace it with anger, bitterness, hate, and venom, rooting the goodness from their breast and actively casting it aside. Rather than lifting up, they spend their days tying nooses, hoping to hang anyone who gives them the slightest opportunity.

I consider them human stains.

They leave their spot behind, smearing their filth on everything they do. Try as we might, some things we just can't return. We can attempt to sever the strands binding us, but to the delight of the stains, it usually isn't a clean break. Something lingers, something distasteful, something repugnant.

The most dangerous stains are the smartest ones. They hide the dirty stain in a colorful array, masking its presence. Often it is only once we realize how mired in the grime we truly are that we see the stain for what it is. And by that time the human stain has such a noose ready for us that it can seem insurmountable to break free.

We can. We should. But it isn't easy. Offering excuses for their behavior, they hope to convince us there is a rational reason for their stain. And, of course, there is: they embraced their stain long ago, and let their stain consume them.

But stains aren't easily sated. The long to spread. And pretty soon, if we aren't vigilant, they have their filth all over us too."

Comments
on Apr 14, 2005
"..truly believe that people are inherently good. It is the optimist in me. Yet we don't all choose to remain good. Many elect to replace it with anger, bitterness, hate, and venom, rooting the goodness from their breast and actively casting it aside. Rather than lifting up, they spend their days tying nooses, hoping to hang anyone who gives them the slightest opportunity.


I consider them human stains."


Very profound Dev, very profound.

"But stains aren't easily sated. The long to spread. And pretty soon, if we aren't vigilant, they have their filth all over us too."

And it may be too late....
on Apr 14, 2005
I truly believe that people are inherently good


Me too. In fact, I'm re-reading one of my favourite trashy fiction novels at the moment, being 'The Stand' by Stephen King. In it, he deals with this very subject quite well, I think. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the plot, but I will take it that you are.

After the plague, when the survivors are trying to figure out what to do, they all have dreams of both good and evil figureheads. It is in their dreams they are given a choice of whom to follow. This is the defining moment for some of these characters. If we apply this to real life, then we all have the same choice. I believe we are all born good but some of us, for various avaricious reasons, choose to be bad. These people, as you so succinctly put, become stains which can be particularly hard to remove.



on Apr 15, 2005
foreverserenity: Thanks for your kind comments. I agree, sometimes we only finally notice when we can't breathe due to the noose around our necks. Too late.

In fact, I'm re-reading one of my favourite trashy fiction novels at the moment, being 'The Stand' by Stephen King.


You know, I actually just finished reading that a bit ago (at the behest of my brother). Perhaps that was sort of rolling around in my subconscious when I wrote this. Hadn't thought about it.

What I find perhaps most disturbing is just how much some people relish being stains. They simply love it. The dirtier others get, the happier they are. Sad.
on Apr 15, 2005
A really awesome piece, Blue Dev. Have an insightful.

I still struggle with this idea. I'm not sure whether I can allow myself to believe that there are people out there that actually enjoy being 'evil' (for want of a better word), who get off on the idea of being a human stain, spreading their filth as far as possible. I have come across people who I have seen do so and have always justified that there is something wrong with them, that it is not a choice that they are making but rather a response to something else. But then that it a pretty huge concession to give someone when I beat myself up about all my many mistakes and shortfalls and know that i can do better.

You've given me a lot of food for thought. It links me to a poem that Shovelheat posted (and has now sadly deleted) where it had a line that went something like 'Just because you don't believe it doesn't mean it's not true'. All very heavy stuff for a Friday afternoon.

Suz xxx
on Apr 15, 2005
I have come across people who I have seen do so and have always justified that there is something wrong with them, that it is not a choice that they are making but rather a response to something else.


To be fair, I think there is a pretty large number of stains who fall into this category. There are lots of people who are not bad, but do bad things for any number of reasons.

But I have run into just too many people who enjoyed spreading their stain, people who actively looked for every opportunity to do so, that I can't put them in that category. I truly believe that there are people who have become 'bad' to varying degrees by their own choice. I even know some here who (at least with their online persona) fall into that category of people who quite truthfully enjoy being stains.

Thanks for your thoughtful comment Suz.
on Apr 15, 2005
I even know some here who (at least with their online persona) fall into that category of people who quite truthfully enjoy being stains.


Ahhh yes. That I can agree with. Nothing like the cloak of invisibility afforded by the net to allow you to vent frustrations on the unsuspecting and undeserving. There are a couple on here who actively search for opportunities to mire themselves and others in unpleasant situations. I guess the benefit of this medium is that you can just turn the thing off (even though that would be ignoring, and therefore go against my other blog... damn that's going to come back and bite me!)

I guess I can relate it back to real life with one particular straggler who loiters about the outer circle of my friends. He has knowingly spread an STD to women he openly refers to as sluts. He finds any and every opportunity to cut people down and make them feel bad. Yet we can't seem to get rid of him. And here's where my 'justification drive' kicks in. He's lost and he's lonely and he has no friends, so he clings on to the people that he at least 'knows' and attacks them in the way I can only assume he's been attacked before. Grrr... damned need to think that peoples' bad acts are a result of bad experiences. What ever happened to personal responsibility? Yet another riddle to try to untangle.
on Apr 15, 2005
**CLARIFICATION**

That sounds like I was justifying his spread of disease. That part of his behaviour I find repugnant and no amount of bad treatment would ever make me think that his actions were simply a result of his past experiences. He knows that what he did was/is wrong. That is a perfect example of a desire to spread the stain.
on Apr 18, 2005
Ahhh yes. That I can agree with. Nothing like the cloak of invisibility afforded by the net to allow you to vent frustrations on the unsuspecting and undeserving


I think that anonymity, for some, is the ultimate tool to revel in their cowardice.

There are a couple on here who actively search for opportunities to mire themselves and others in unpleasant situations.


Of course, many of them are the same people who don't have the cajones in RL to deal with their problems, but I digress. . .

I think your example of the loiterer is an interesting one. I have known people who are similar. I have tried to be thier friend because I often start to justify them and their behavior. Often I think that is valid to do, but there are some cases where I just have to draw a line and say no more. I won't tolerate you willfully spreading your stain. Thanks again for the comments Suz, sorry it took me a few days to reply (but I did!).
on May 01, 2005
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this. I've been on holidays and haven't really spent much time online.

They simply love it. The dirtier others get, the happier they are. Sad.


This is so true. They love nothing better than dragging everyone around them down into their mucky world.

I'm not sure whether I can allow myself to believe that there are people out there that actually enjoy being 'evil' (for want of a better word), who get off on the idea of being a human stain, spreading their filth'


I too have met and had unfortunate associations with such people. The trait with these people is they will use any excuse to justify their behaviour and personal responsibility never enters their mind, as far as I can tell. As far as I've seen, they enjoy being bad or hurting others. Remorse is not part of their vocabulary.
on May 12, 2005
Good article. Don;t know how I missed this one. I'm glad Dharma linked to it in one of hers. Well worth the read.
on May 12, 2005
To BlueDev:

My aren't you a sanctimonious, self-satisfied little [insert favorite vile expletive here]. And just ever so ever so pleased with yourself.

Personally, I prefer stained things. It means that they've been handled, used. That they've mattered in some way. The pristine is only virgin pure because nobody had enough interest in it to want to touch it.
on May 12, 2005
MasonM: Thanks for your comments.

EoIC: Thank you for proving the point of the article. Of course, your comment might actually mean something if you knew anything about me, but considering your absolute ignorance, well, it is nothing more than empty words.
on May 12, 2005
My aren't you a sanctimonious, self-satisfied little [insert favorite vile expletive here]. And just ever so ever so pleased with yourself


Why say this? Do you actually think BlueDev or anyone else reading it is going to go away thinking "oh, yes, maybe I was being sanctimonious." I think they're going to go away calling you all sorts of their 'favourite vile expletives'. Is it really worth your while?
on May 13, 2005
Personally, I prefer stained things. It means that they've been handled, used. That they've mattered in some way. The pristine is only virgin pure because nobody had enough interest in it to want to touch it.


After reading this again it is also obvious that you missed the point of the article. There is a fundamental difference between being stained and being a stain, a difference that was crucial to the point of this article.
on May 13, 2005