The human body is an incredible thing. I don't care if you think it is the process of random genetic mutations over the course of eons or the creation of a divine being, either way, it is amazing. The capacity to endure has limits that we rarely test.
Lately, I have been trying to test some of those.
In the process I have discovered some interesting things. First, there are many, many levels of tired. I was discussing this with my wife the other night, mentioning that I found it odd that I could function throughout the day, without really feeling that tired, yet also fall asleep literally within seconds of sitting down. I was afraid I was becoming narcoleptic.
She astutely pointed out that the more likely scenario is that I have simply been so tired for so many years now that I don't recognize the feeling of tired anymore. And you know what? I think she has a point.
The other day, while standing in surgery (doing nothing, hence not involved in the case and no reason to be staying awake) I awoke as my knees buckled and I began to fall to the ground. I caught myself, and no one seemed to notice. But it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Early mornings and late, interrupted nights have conspired to lead to this. I would like to do something about it, but don't see that happening too soon.
But when I am busy, when I am engaged, I really don't feel the least bit sleepy. Sit down and the whole system shuts down. I think I am still adjusting.
Some day, I will sleep and feel refreshed. It is the lie I keep telling myself.