I vividly recall the old cliche about getting along with your spouse/partner/sig other. When discussing compromise the classic example is that of the old tube of toothpaste. One person is anal retentive and likes to sqeeze the toothpaste from the end, carefully ensuring that it is empty and the tube is left in a nice, attractive tube shape. The other likes to grab the old tube and squeeze where ever the hand may land.
I always thought the example was ridiculous.
Then one day it hit me. I'm the anal one.
And even more surprising was the fact that it bugged me. Never in the 'you must squeeze the tube my way!' way. But still it bugged me. I never understood why my sweet, beautiful, gentle wife would want to mangle a perfectly good tube of toothpaste the way she did. Leaving the poor tube crippled, crumpled and crooked just didn't seem her style to me.
While it never errupted into something serious, it was an irritant. I even said something about it a time or two. In my egotism I thought that by making it sound like a suggestion it would come off better. "You know, if you sqeeze from the bottom and work your way up you get the toothpaste out better," I would say. I mean, at least I didn't tell her she had to do things my way. Right?
Looking back I realize just how stupid it sounded anyway.
And so it became one of those things in our marraige that initially didn't work, and now works just fine. She squeezes the tube in the middle. I then meticulously work all the toothpaste from the end up, so there is plenty for her to mash the next time. I still notice she mashes, I am sure she still notices I don't, and the world keeps turning and we get along well.