Reduced to a number

-or- a bitter pill

Published on January 27, 2006 By BlueDev In Misc

Now that the match is over, and I have successfully secured my place of training for the next six years, I have a confession to make.

I didn't do terribly well on step 1 of the USMLE (United States Medical Liscensing Exam), aka 'the boards".

Oh, I passed, no question. And quite comfortably too. But I was not in the 99th percentile. There are lots of reasons I could toss out: um, 3 kids, our foster daughter chose that week to run away (for the first time, which was hands down the most stressful of the three), I was working on my thesis and had just finished preparing for and giving a major podium presentation at the AUA (American Urologic Association) meeting. Or, simply it could be that out of some of the 50,000 most intelligent folks in the US (not from the US, just in the US-lots of brilliant foreigners) there are quite a few who are smarter/better test takers than I am.

Whatever the case may be, I passed, with plenty of room to spare. I was pleased, considering how stressful that week was for me (for us!).

But when it came time to apply for residency I suddenly was reduced to that number: my board score. It didn't matter that I had a publication in the major Urologic journal, nor that I had given a podium presentation at the national meeting, that I had done a year of research, or any of my activities outside of school that, to be less than modest, I feel made me a pretty unique applicant. Nope, most people wanted to reduce me to a three digit number. Suddenly that was the key indicator to what kind of doctor I would be. Ignore all the "Honors" grades I received on my clinical rotations. Forget all the comments from attendings about my patient skills, my work ethic, etc. Focus on that number. That became me.

Frankly, it pissed me off. Fortunately there were programs who saw past that number, offered me interviews, and eventually a place at their program based on the strength of my application and interview as a whole. For that I am extremely grateful (thanks Dartmouth!!! You guys rock!). But perhaps the one that hurt the most was the one closest to home.

After spending a month, busting my butt on the Urology service here at Duke (that aside from all the time I spent working with them the year prior to that) I had my Duke interview. The chair of the Urology department, during his interview with me, decided that my board score was all that mattered. It didn't matter that I spent a good portion of my month working with him, in the clinic, in the OR, going out of my way to work with difficult patients so he didn't have to, tracking down numbers, contacting families, etc. to take care of his patients. Apparently that wasn't important. It didn't matter that he knew how hard I work, how well I got along with all the attendings and residents. All that mattered was that number.

In the end, it resulted in my not matching here at Duke. I am quite glad, as I don't think I would want to spend the next 6 years working for someone who "really liked [me], but that board score. . ."

Instead, I will be spending the next 6 years working with people who just really liked me, and refused to reduce me to a number.

Comments

Dr Guy

on Jan 27, 2006

Ouch! That one hurts!

But remember, that people are not institutions. Your 'interviewer' is not the school. The school produced an outstanding doctor! The interviewer cheated the school of your acclaim.

stanty8

on Jan 27, 2006

Dr. Guy:

Well, I go to the same school as BlueDev... and I'd have to say that (unfortunately) the chair's attitude is the rule rather than the exception. I think we are both going to be happier somewhere else - I didn't even apply here, in fact.

Dr Guy

on Jan 27, 2006

That is Duke's loss! I dont know you, but I have gotten to know BlueDev (like we know it is not Blue Devils!). I really had hope he would get MCV, but he said he did not apply.

I dont wonder of the education. I do wonder of the nepotism (regional wise).

BlueDev

on Jan 27, 2006

Well, Doc, as stanty said, this is a prevailing mentality at our institution. Attracting the highest numbers is what keeps Duke in the highest numbers. Honestly, I am not bitter. In fact, it is a great thing, because I think I would have ended up working for someone whose values on what makes a good doctor don't agree with mine. Good test scores are important, no doubt. But the do not a good doctor make. Trust me.

Thank you for your kind words, and thanks to stanty for chiming in. I can honestly say, he is one of the very few in my class who I would take my children to.

thatoneguyinslc

on Jan 27, 2006

You are now Dr. # 23.485 Thank you drive thru! :

:

Better to go where you are needed and appreciated, than to get lost in the herd Doc. You will do well no matter where you end up.

Dr Guy

on Jan 27, 2006

Thank you for your kind words, and thanks to stanty for chiming in. I can honestly say, he is one of the very few in my class who I would take my children to.

Then why are you both not in Virginny?

Oh well, I guess the other 49 need good docs too!

To both, be the best. Even while I root against the blue devils!

Jetting Through Life

on Jan 28, 2006

Blue... Sorry things didn't work out in your favour at Duke. Being a number is the worst feeling in the world. But society has turned that way. It's amazing that no matter you social class or status it all boils down to the numbers.

I think in the long run what happened, happened for a reason and you will be a better doctor as the end result. We all take and learn things from this course called life.

I truly commend you for doing what you have been doing as far as going to medical school having a family and etc. and not giving up. Kudos!

XXOO,
JTL

BlueDev

on Jan 28, 2006

I think in the long run what happened, happened for a reason and you will be a better doctor as the end result. We all take and learn things from this course called life.

I agree completely. My wife and I felt certain that whatever happened would be the best thing for our family. And while I won't pretend to know everything, we can already see so many reasons Dartmouth will be the best place for us. As always, thanks for stopping by mjet!

Jetting Through Life

on Feb 03, 2006

Awww... your welcome Blue!! Now you are going to have to change your blog name to Dartmouthy or something!! I like your site!!

XXOO,
JTL

Dr Guy

on Feb 03, 2006

have to change your blog name to Dartmouthy

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