I will apologize up front to all true poets out there. This is a farce, a ridiculous attempt that I would never call poetry for fear of insulting real poetry out there. But I had fun. Congested nose, all plugged with snot I walk, barely breathing, through the parking lot I sniffle and snuffle Eyes blurry, I shuffle A Kleenex, a Kleenex I cry to the sky Wondering why did I not bring one, why? I can take it no more, I must get it out A devious plan erases my pout Look to the le...

I will apologize up front to all true poets out there. This is a farce, a ridiculous attempt that I would never call poetry for fear of insulting real poetry out there. But I had fun. Congested nose, all plugged with snot I walk, barely breathing, through the parking lot I sniffle and snuffle Eyes blurry, I shuffle A Kleenex, a Kleenex I cry to the sky Wondering why did I not bring one, why? I can take it no more, I must get it out A devious plan erases my pout Look to the le...

This morning I realized my body has, though not of its own accord, become a factory. I awoke this morning, struggling for air as my respiratory passages were quite neatly and very nearly completely glued shut. Yes, I have become a veritable snot manufacturing plant. Fascinating, isn't it? And so, after stumbling out of bed, I began the laborious process of breathing again. This involved lots of coughing and hacking, face turning red, veins throbbing, leaning over the sink so I ma...

This morning I realized my body has, though not of its own accord, become a factory. I awoke this morning, struggling for air as my respiratory passages were quite neatly and very nearly completely glued shut. Yes, I have become a veritable snot manufacturing plant. Fascinating, isn't it? And so, after stumbling out of bed, I began the laborious process of breathing again. This involved lots of coughing and hacking, face turning red, veins throbbing, leaning over the sink so I ma...

The election draws near. The tension builds. The flames are flying along with the insults. The fate of a nation hangs in the balance. Erm, perhaps I am exaggerating a bit. Maybe I need to relax, kick back and laugh at a little political humor. So let Halloween offer you some good, old fashioned, offensive political humor. Terrifying political Halloween costumes! If you are offended go read this . And for Pete's sake (that would be me, the poster here) laugh a little.

The election draws near. The tension builds. The flames are flying along with the insults. The fate of a nation hangs in the balance. Erm, perhaps I am exaggerating a bit. Maybe I need to relax, kick back and laugh at a little political humor. So let Halloween offer you some good, old fashioned, offensive political humor. Terrifying political Halloween costumes! If you are offended go read this . And for Pete's sake (that would be me, the poster here) laugh a little.

For too long now we have ignored one of the most gross demonstrations of prejudice and bigotry in the US.  It is time we remedied that. I am speaking of the vile practice of Oderism. Yes, the practice of being prejudiced against those who smell bad. It must stop.  The media shoves this notion down our throats.  We see daily advertisements for anti-perspirants and deoderants, all trying to convince us that we must not stink, that we must avoid those who do, and that to bec...

For too long now we have ignored one of the most gross demonstrations of prejudice and bigotry in the US.  It is time we remedied that. I am speaking of the vile practice of Oderism. Yes, the practice of being prejudiced against those who smell bad. It must stop.  The media shoves this notion down our throats.  We see daily advertisements for anti-perspirants and deoderants, all trying to convince us that we must not stink, that we must avoid those who do, and that to bec...

Our last two children have been very slow to get their teeth. I am not saying I mind, the less I get bitten the better. But it is something that we have noticed, and compared to other kids his age, Alex is way behind in that regard. My wife was over at a friends house yesterday. Their youngest is a month or two younger than Big Al, but already has a pretty full set of teeth. I was just teasing, and said that it was because his father was a dentist (now in Orthodontic residency). The...

Our last two children have been very slow to get their teeth. I am not saying I mind, the less I get bitten the better. But it is something that we have noticed, and compared to other kids his age, Alex is way behind in that regard. My wife was over at a friends house yesterday. Their youngest is a month or two younger than Big Al, but already has a pretty full set of teeth. I was just teasing, and said that it was because his father was a dentist (now in Orthodontic residency). The...

Lately I have had one shocking experience after another. Often, I have multiple in one day. My wife has been having many shocking experiences lately as well. And today, at Church, I witnessed yet another. Shocking experiences all over the place. Literally. Dang static electricity. But seriously, for reasons I do not understand, I have been getting shocked with an heretofore unknown frequency and severity. Why, just the other day I was running on the treadmill and my hand hit a m...

Lately I have had one shocking experience after another. Often, I have multiple in one day. My wife has been having many shocking experiences lately as well. And today, at Church, I witnessed yet another. Shocking experiences all over the place. Literally. Dang static electricity. But seriously, for reasons I do not understand, I have been getting shocked with an heretofore unknown frequency and severity. Why, just the other day I was running on the treadmill and my hand hit a m...

It's a double standard, and frankly I am sick of it. I am talking about dress codes. Yes, that's right. I am. Men of the world, unite! Throw off the ties that so egregiously weigh you down, decrease your respiratory rate, and just flap in a most absurd manner in the wind! Give those wingtips the boot and take your 17½-36-37 dress shirt and tell it where to go! Professional dress my foot. Just another chance for those XX people in the world to stick it to us XYers. The inequalit...

It's a double standard, and frankly I am sick of it. I am talking about dress codes. Yes, that's right. I am. Men of the world, unite! Throw off the ties that so egregiously weigh you down, decrease your respiratory rate, and just flap in a most absurd manner in the wind! Give those wingtips the boot and take your 17½-36-37 dress shirt and tell it where to go! Professional dress my foot. Just another chance for those XX people in the world to stick it to us XYers. The inequalit...

. . .and step away from the urinal! Spray, drippage, flush flings, all sorts of stuff flying around the bathroom. And someone thinks that would be a good place to eat? I just walked into the bathroom here by my office and there was a medical student, standing at the urinal, aiming with one hand, eating a donut with the other. And yes, he was eating. Not just holding it. Taking bites. While he peed. I don't think I would do that. Change that. I know I wouldn't do that. It is j...