-or- So I'm not responsible, right?
We see it happen every day.
Someone opens their mouth or sets their fingers to the keys without fully engaging their gray matter. Or perhaps that is just he way they operate, vomiting forth whatever will come. Of course the aftermath usually is more than they were anticipating, but that is most likely because they left out that crucial initial step. You know, thinking.
So the backlash comes. It is inevitable. Even the most well thought out arguments and comments will be offensive to some. But the person who thought before engaging their communicative tools knew that would happen. They had already accepted the possibility, the eventuality, the inevitability. Because of that, they don't feel the need to back-peddle, to cover their tail.
More often than not, though, the thoughtless person eventually realizes their folly. It happens enough you would think they would learn, but they just don't seem to. Instead, the moment the heat is on they whip out their wild card.
"But I was only joking!"
And for some bizarre reason they think this will remedy all. Yep, because they now can claim they were jesting all is right in the world. No one can be offended, because it was just a joke. Right? If someone does take issue, well, it must mean they lack a sense of humor, they are thin skinned, or they take things too seriously. I agree with anyone who says you need to have a thick skin. That is especially important on the internet where subtle nuances and inflections of spoken communication are lost. I generally think I have pretty thick skin, and when I feel offended try to take a step back, examine why I feel that way, and come back a little more composed.
But that doesn't absolve the writer or speaker of their responsibility. If you say something stupid, then come back an insist it was just a joke, you undermine your own credibility. The person who doesn't have the integrity to admit they were being an idiot doesn't have much to offer. I screw up. I have done it here, I have done it in real life, and I will continue to do it. But I hope I never try to convince someone my idiocy was a weak attempt at so-called "humor".
We've seen it before, and we'll see it again. Let the idiots who were "only joking" beware. Some of us are onto you.