A silly little blog for me to drop the excrement of my mind.
Published on August 2, 2005 By BlueDev In Home & Family
I have been fortunate in my life. Love has hurt me very little.

As anyone else, I have had a few minor dings and contusions. Crushes of youth that were not reciprocated and the like. The few hurts that were more severe did, as I matured, become less significant. The first time I dared to truly love someone I was one of the fortunate to have that love returned, amplified, and we have now built a life upon that love. Our sweet children are too young to step on our hearts. I have been insulated thus far.

But we opened our lives and our hearts again. And this time it hurts like I can't believe.

So now I know. Now I know what it feels like to open your heart, your life, your love to someone new, only to be crushed. There is no other way to describe it. The pressure, the pain, the heartache. If only it would end.

Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Aug 02, 2005
bluedev, you sound very much in pain...I am sorry to hear that. Maybe you do not want any responses to something so personal, but for what it is worth, I hope you
will get through this heartache soon.
on Aug 02, 2005
Thanks InBloom. I appreciate your kind words.
on Aug 02, 2005
Hey mate,

I don't believe there is any way to prepare for the pain of a broken heart, particularly as an adult. Some never fully recover. I sincerely hope you do.

Cheers,

Maso
on Aug 02, 2005
Oh Dev....did your foster daugter have to leave? I'm sorry, bud. I can only imagine what that must feel like.
on Aug 02, 2005
She didn't have to. . .
on Aug 02, 2005
She didn't have to. . .


She just DID? What happened? I'm really, really sorry.....it has to almost like losing a child. No-one should ever have to go through that.
on Aug 02, 2005
Oh, man, that's horrible . I'm so sorry .

I'm sure that it's nothing that you had any control over and that nobody did anything wrong, but I know that probably doesn't really make you feel any better

Let me know if I can be of use!

- Stanton

"... to love is to be vulnerable" - C.S. Lewis

P.S. I would have let ya'll adopt me... if I weren't only a few years younger than you
on Aug 02, 2005
Thanks Stanton. I really appreciate it.
on Aug 03, 2005
I'm so sorry you are hurting Blue.. some folks say that time heals those wounds... I always maintained that those folks are wrong! I hope you can at least cope with this horrible situation and move on. I also hope that this will not stop you from opening your hearts again.
on Aug 03, 2005
I'm sorry that you are hurting. You don't deserve to have that pain....but sometimes it's inevitable. Just don't forget that the ones you love are better for it, so don't give up okay?
on Aug 03, 2005
Ditto from me too where the pain and hurt is concerned and definately don't give up Dev! Here's a cyber hug to you and yours. (((((Peter & family))))
on Aug 03, 2005
no words of advice or wisdom from me, just wanted to let you know i was listening.
on Aug 03, 2005
Maso: I appreciate your kind words. I know we will heal, but I also know a scar will be there for good.

Dharma: It hurts in a way no one should ever have to hurt. Thanks.

Mano: We are coping as best we can. We will get through, but right now the uncertainty is the killer

LH: Thanks. We won't give up. Even though I would be a liar if I said I didn't want to.

FS: Thanks for the hug. It is appreciated.

Shades: I appreciate the listening ear. Really.
on Aug 03, 2005
Hey BlueDev,

I'm glad to hear from you again, but I wish the news were happier. I dunno what to say, maybe something along the lines of, hopefully she learned something from you guys that she can take with her, or re-learn, someday. Or maybe she just needs to know that there are quality people in the world. I don't know. Maybe. Hopefully.

At any rate, I admire you and your family for opening your lives. Best of luck for whatever comes next.

Idealistically,

-A.
on Aug 04, 2005
I'm very sorry to hear your news. I am thinking about you and your family...
Nicky
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