I called my mom a while back. I call her more often than that, but I called with a specific purpose. I had her get my dad on the other phone. I had something important to tell them. "Mom, dad, I am so, so sorry." They were confused. Being something of an adult now, living as far away from them as we do, I don't have too many chances to screw things up with them or offend in any way. So I could understand and appreciate their confusion. I decided I had better clarify. "I am so s...

It is a good thing that the whole points thing here doesn't really interest me. I have written, oh, about 4 blogs in about that many months. Suddenly I am playing around on my Wincustomize site and notice that my blog has a fair number of points. More than it usually had when I was writing daily. A virtual hop, skip and a jump over here and I notice my blog is ranked #18. Hmm, I have only cracked the top 20 a couple of times, and that was when I was writing a lot. I take a leave of abse...

Stream of consciousness just doesn't do it for me. I tried it here once, and was disappointed. I fear I am simply too anal and uptight to just write and not try to give it some structure or purpose. Silly me. Nevertheless, I am in desperate need of a muse. So here I sit, writing to see if I can get things flowing. I need to finish my personal statement for my residency applications. I would like to finish in the next couple of days. But it has been slow going. The ideas just have...

It takes time. It takes effort. And it takes forgiveness. A broken heart, can, in fact, mend. People are where they need to be. Hopefully they will choose to stay there. We are doing pretty well, considering. Just to let those who care know.

I have been fortunate in my life. Love has hurt me very little. As anyone else, I have had a few minor dings and contusions. Crushes of youth that were not reciprocated and the like. The few hurts that were more severe did, as I matured, become less significant. The first time I dared to truly love someone I was one of the fortunate to have that love returned, amplified, and we have now built a life upon that love. Our sweet children are too young to step on our hearts. I have been i...

My entire sense of time has changed. It is true. I no longer operate on a 7 day week. Nope. For me, the week is four days long. Unfortunately, there are no weekends in there. Being on call, and not really getting days off, really messes with your schedule. I no longer remember what day of the week it is. I am constantly having to check my watch, and it is driving me nuts. If my watch was wrong, well I would be screwed. The week goes like this: Long call, post-call, short ca...

Panic is real. Panic is debilitating. Anyone who says otherwise is ignorant or a liar. Psychological symptoms are often shrugged off by too many. The label of psychosomatic is thrown around by the foolish as a synonym for false. Yet understanding the difference between malingering, factitious disorder and somatoform disorder lends to keen insight into the power our mind has over our body. Recent personal experience has clarified just how powerful this psychosomatic connection is....

I have found that my birthday means less and less to me the more I have. Growing up they often had some significant advantage to each advancing year. Suddenly I could have a job, *poof* now I could drive, etc. But once you hit a certain point they pretty much just become a day like any other. My oldest daughter, of course, has a hard time with this idea. To her it is daddy's birthday, so he should feel different, older, special. Her enthusiasm is contagious. But I just don't need a...

"A time to live, and a time to die" Death fascinates us. Every art form has obsessed over the subject. Entire religions and belief systems center around the concept of death. But we run from it at every turn. Not everyone, of course. Some spend their entire lives running headlong toward it, often unwittingly. But it is inevitable. It will come for us all, whether we care or not, whether we are prepared or not. And lately I have seen more than my fair share. When your life ...

For a while at least. I don't really care for good-bye blogs, but I really don't care for folks who just up and vanish without a word. And while I am not planning on this being a true good-bye, I do want to pass along the word to those I have met here whose association I value. Real life is going to ramp up a lot in the next few months. Between extremely hectic school responsibilities and family I am simply not going to have the time or energy to frequent my blog or the site in gene...

I feel it fading Slipping away from me now Curse you sanity BlueDev

If I go missing please do not concern yourself mayhap I'll return BlueDev

FWX By: Fates Warning Year: 2004 Click here for the artists site For many years, Fates Warning was an enigma to me. I was sufficiently prog savvy to know the name, and had heard one rather pedestrian live track. But that really was the extent of it. Then, in 2002, things changed. I listened to 'Disconnected'. I was astounded. I was blown away. I needed more. And so I began to explore the back catalog of this amazing band. Then I explored some of the side proje...

It's been bugging me for a few days. A nasty smell. Can't quite get it out of my metaphorical nose. Something burning. Then today it hit me. It's me. Ahh the acrid scent of burn-out.

This is probably a bit overdue. But better late than never, right? My wife and I have been fostering a teenage girl for a little over two months. It has been a fascinating (and thoroughly exhausting) endeavor. Teenagers (obviously) bring into the world a whole host of decisions, complications, choices, and actions that you just don't have when dealing with children 5 and under. And many of these issues are much more serious in nature. As a matter of clarification, because I am not c...